She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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