Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
