i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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