I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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