Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
