His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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