You don't have asthma, your pregnant
This is not my ceiling
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
