I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
