I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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