i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
