Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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