apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize