So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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