I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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