Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
