I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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