I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
