Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
