i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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