is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
