How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
