My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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