We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
