Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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