people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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