I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
