Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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