I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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