Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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