remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
