Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
