His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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