we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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