Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
