omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
