dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
