Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So here I am, sexting at work.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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