Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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