It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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