Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
