this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
