So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I would fuck him just for his dog
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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