Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
