remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
