Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
