i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
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It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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