I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
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I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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