Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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