Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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