the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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