Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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