he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
