My liver just broke up with me...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
