I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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