I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize