Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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