capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
